Marriage Prep

    Have you ever looked at a couple and thought, "they are never going to work out." Or in contrast, have you ever thought, "wow they are going to be together forever!" Well, when we are trying to determine these things, we need to first ask what the main things that we can do to prepare for and best ensure a good marriage? For those of you who aren't married yet, I suggest that you firstly look to the three T's of relationships. These are: Togetherness; Talking; and Time.

    First, let's take a look at "Togetherness". When a couple is dating, how often did they engage in a wholesome activity that caused them to learn more about each other? In today's society it has become very popular to "hang out", without a real plan. This isn't even actually "dating" since you aren't going out on a planned date. In fact, this is usually just an attempt to grow more comfortable with each other so that the relationship can become sexual sooner. However, when an actual date is planned, we can see that there are opportunities for you to get to know how your date acts in various situations. If you haven't gotten to know how someone acts in various situations, how on earth could it make sense to give that person any form of trust that amounts to spending the rest of your life with them. Or even more important, how could you be comfortable potentially having children with them? 

    Next, we need to discuss what it means to "Talk". This can be more aptly put as "mutual disclosure". Rather than engage in small talk, it is important to actually learn about one another. When you are physically infatuated with someone it can become easy to bring the conversation to the topic of sexual things. However, you cannot learn anything productive about each other when discussing how "that outfit looks super-hot." Instead, there needs to be some disclosure to one another about the very personal (not sexual) parts of yourself that you would only tell those whom you trust. 

    Lastly, and arguably most importantly, is "Time". In order to even begin to get to know someone, we need to actually spend quality time with them. Now, this certainly doesn't mean that you should move in with somebody and "date" for 23 years and never get married. In fact, studies show that such relationships don't end well. It does mean, however, that you need to spend time with someone before you can know anything about them. It helps to look at these things as a scale. For example, it wouldn't make sense for you to know trust someone when you don't know them well. And by extension, it doesn't make sense to go further with how physical you are with someone if you haven't become committed to them and learned to trust them with the possibility of being a parent with you.

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