Blended Families

 Today we're going to be talking a bit about blended families. More specifically, we're going to be discussing what some of the most common issues are, as well as how you can approach these issues. But before this we must first ask, what is a "blended family"? Well, a blended family is one of the names used to describe a family in which one of the parents has been in a previous marriage due to divorce or the loss of a loved one. Some other names for this are “step-families”, "remarried families" or "reconstituted families". One of the first things we must address is the fact that there are many reasons for which there is a divorce or dissolution of a family unit. However, no matter the reason, there are certain things that must be done to address the issues that arise due to the combination of 2 families. For starters, some of the most common issue that arises has to do with the interactions between the children and the step parent. In many cases, the stepparent tries very hard, or even desperately, to get the children to like them. This can lead to them allowing the children to do things that their birth parent does not want them to do, or may perhaps manifest in much lighter punishments for the misbehaviors of the child. I have a very strong opinion on this situation that some people ay not like. That is, I think that those who do not hold children accountable for their actions are terrible people and terrible parents. Not only is a failure to uphold consequences very likely to be contrary to the will of their other parent, but may even result in the child resenting their birth parent. And, if we choose to look at this with an eternal perspective, it completely fails to prepare the child for the real world where nobody cares about your feelings, and our actions always reap some type of consequence, be it good or bad. With this in mind, however, how can a stepparent dole out punishments to this child (or children) without causing dissention and contention between them? Well, that has a simple answer that leads us to our next point. That is: the birth parent must be the one doing all of the reprimanding, punishing, and delivering of the consequences within the family. However, if the birth parent is the one doling out all of the punishments or negative consequences, then what is the step parent supposed to do? Well, they are definitely still supposed to be involved, but with a specific role. That is, they need to be supportive of whatever decision the birth parent makes about the child when with them. If there is an issue or disagreement about how t handle a punishment, reward, or consequence, it needs to be discussed in private without the children knowing (or at least not be present to see the disagreement). It is vital for the children to see and know for sure that both their birth parent and step parent are united. And, if this is done correctly, I will lead to cohesion and unification of the entire family unit.


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