Adjusting to Life in a New Marriage

    Hey everybody, thanks for tuning into my blog this week! We've got an interesting topic to discuss together today which is: how to adjust to a new marriage. If you're new to the blog, then you may not know that I have been married to nearly 3 years. And, as you may expect, there has been a lot of adjustments and struggles we've already had to navigate together. For the sake of time, however, I'll share the 3 most common issues that I have seen. These are: communication, differences in culture, and finances.
    First of all, communication! Normally we save the most important point for last, but I've gotta start with it. Frankly, communication is key. If you are an individual who is able to talk to someone who disagrees with you completely without it resulting in raised voices or conflict, we would call that impressive! However, when this situation occurs in a marriage, its expected. When a husband and wife are unable to effectively navigate a disagreement, it can lead to seeking validation from other people. Or, even worse, it will lead to a rift to develop between the couple. This is why it is so important to be able to communicate effectively with your spouse. My wife and I struggled with this at the beginning of our marriage. And the truth is, it took work to develop! I can promise through my own experience, that if you are able to set aside a time to talk to your wife or husband and council together about any issues you are feeling are there, and calmly listen to one another, your capacity to communicate effectively will increase.
    Second, differences in culture. It is very easy to see how a conflict can arise from differences in culture as large as people marrying from different continents. However, it is important to realize that every household is different. My wife and I lived just over an hour away from each other when we met, and the cultures of our homes couldn't have been more different. We had been raised with different times to have meals, different ways of navigating a disagreement, and differences in importance placed upon religion (though we are members of the same faith). Instead of allowing this to be an opportunity to create major conflict in your home, I would suggest the genius offered by my wife. That is, take this as an opportunity to create a new family culture that is your own! You don't need to be everything that your family was, nor your spouse theirs. Take this opportunity to COMMUNICATE with your spouse and decide what kind of lifestyle you both want to develop in your young family's home. In doing so, you will be solidifying how your new family is made up of the best of both your lives. 
    Lastly, finances. This last point is going to be very short, and to the point. When you are married and starting a new family, finances are to be shared with one another. If one spouse has financial hardships, the family will bear that hardship together! In contrast, if a husband or wife is having financial success, both of them are! Share your finances and maintain transparency with one another. A marriage is built upon how well you know each other, trust each other, rely on each other, and commit to each other. To not share your finances will do nothing but drive a wedge between the two of you. So, share everything with one another!!! 
    No marriage is the same, and all are important. I couldn't possibly predict all of the hardships a new marriage can and will face. However, I promise that if you experience the issues mentioned above and follow the pattern my wife and I used, only positive results can come from it. 

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