What Makes A Successful Family?

    What comes to mind when you picture a "Successful Family"? Do you think of wealth? A long pedigree of Ivy League alumni? Or maybe you ultimately just think of your own family! My name is Ken Boss, and today I'd like to share some of my thoughts and research on what it means to be a "successful family". 
    A quick intro to myself, I am 22 years old and have been happily married to my amazing wife Sam for 3 years now. We have a handsome 1 year old son who we are absolutely obsessed with! I am currently attending university while also slowly getting my own business started. As a young husband and father, I do my best to provide a good and happy life for my wife and son every day. It is, however, a joint effort between both my wife and me. So, as we strive together to provide a happy and successful life for each other and our son, as we all want for our families, how do we know what to measure or identify to ensure we are all doing a good job? I believe that one of the keys to a successful family are strong, emotional bonds to one another.
    Now when I say strong emotional bonds, of course the most important of these will be love! However, can we identify certain habits that bring about a strong, lasting connection among family members? Or perhaps, a stronger sense of love for each other? Well, according to Michigan State University's Terry Clark-Jones, there are six common habits that bring about a strong family. These are: 
1) Showing appreciation and affection to one another on a regular basis.
2) Being committed and loyal to each other, like showing trust and support when an individual makes their own decision.
3) Engaging in positive communication. Regular, positive conversations (such as those typically found at a regular family dinner) can aid in family members learning about each other and learning from each other's emotional states.
4) Allowing hardship to bring the family closer to one another rather than apart. Those families that do this have a tendency to be more resilient to stressful times or times of crisis.
5) A strong spiritual or religious connection between family members helps them to open up more to one another. Families with these connections have also been shown to have a greater tendency for a positive common attitude in the home.
6)Family time is key! Families that spend quality time together and share common interests are more prone to have fun and create happy memories together.
    Now of course, no family is going to be perfect.  Each is going to have strengths and weaknesses, as well as good times and hard times. I may have only been married for 3 years now, but I can already tell you how all 6 of these points have helped my wife and I get through hardship. In fact, all these things we've experienced together have made our love stronger, despite our (or more likely, just my own) imperfections.
So, after these great points, can we determine what it means to have a successful family? Well, perhaps we can. Rather than look at it as a measurement, however, let us all remember that life is an endless opportunity for improvement in all things. As we all strive to be more successful in our families, let's be sure to talk kindly to one another. Invite everyone for a family dinner with no cell phones. Allow each other to make decisions, even if we may not always agree with them. Support one another when hard times come, as they always do. Strive to share your spiritual and religious views with one another and invite God into your homes. And, of course, spend time with one another. For those of you who may be married, new parents, long time parents, or even just teenagers wondering what kind of values are important when dating, these 6 things are all habits that will greatly help your relationships. 

         





Source Cited

Terry Clark-Jones, Michigan State University Extension 

Qualities of a healthy family - MSU Extension

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