My Experience with Roles in the Household

     What are the roles that we typically think of when we think of the family? In a traditional, or "nuclear" family which has a husband, wife, and children all in the home and committed to one another, one would typically think of the husband as the "provider", the mother as the "nurturer", and the children as helpful additions to the family, obedient and learning from their loving parents. We all know, however, that this is not always the case in many families around the world. There are mothers that are the financial providers of their families while the father stays at home and nurtures/raises the children. There are households where the children are not all supportive or obedient to their families and parents. In some households, it is the children who do what they want and control the parents. There are households where there is only one parent, forcing them to either try and manage the load of both providing and nurturing for their families or even pay another to do the nurturing for them while they spend all their time working. So, we must ask ourselves, "if I want my family (or future family) to be the best it can be, what is the best-case scenario? Well, in this blog I will be sharing my opinion based on my personal experiences. As I was a child, I find myself having taken multiple roles throughout the years. As the youngest, I first remember filling the role as a helper! I was always obedient and wanted to help my parents and siblings any chance I could get. As I grew (both in age, stature and mental development) I found myself becoming the "trouble child" in my family. At this point, I can say that my family experience was at its worst. However, whenever I did something very stupid (like maybe, steal my dad's car) I saw that it brought my parents and siblings together, forming a stronger family unit without me. Then, a few years later, my eldest brother moved out. He had always been like another parent to me and my siblings, and him leaving brought a short period of unbalance in the family. I then stepped into the role of protector, peacemaker, and obedient helper of my family. This period was the time that I felt strongest and closest as a member of my family. The next step of my development came when I became a husband. In my marriage, it started out as both my wife and I working to provide for each other in our new family. I was happy to let my wife work, and she seemed satisfied with what she did. In short, we were happy. However, then we became parents! The happiest day of my life also came with the realization that I wanted my wife to do whatever makes her happiest, even if it means that I will be the only one working while she stayed home and nurtured our newborn child. And then something amazing happened. Though I am working to build up my own business while I go to school full time, resulting in lots time that I spent working while my wife was home with our child, we have become happier than ever! There has been a strong sense of fulfillment as I work to provide my wife with the life she desires and provide my son with the security and the other necessities of life that I can give him. However, I do not believe that we have found happiness in these roles simply because I am a man and her, a woman. We have allowed our relationship to develop through the strengths of our talents. If I was happiest nurturing and my wife was happiest working, we would do everything we could to allow each other to do so! So, in the end, I believe that we must develop our talents and support each other as a marriage to ensure each role is well provided for our families no matter who plays which role.